Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Day 38: Easy Garlic Spread...

I once dated this girl who was interesting, but was a tad more pale than I usually go for.  I was having her over for dinner for the first time, and there was something that was bothering me.  There was something I felt every time I met her, it was hard to identify, and took time to grow, germinate and form into a cognitive thought.  When the idea burst forth, I suddenly came to the realization that I had only met her at night.  Not once had I seen her in daylight!  ...And she was pale.

Now I know the vampire population is low in Ottawa, with all the politicians, it’s the zombie population that’s unusually high, and I suddenly realized that I might be putting myself in danger by inviting this porcelain honey into my home.  Once you invite a vampire over, they can come over all they want, and it wasn’t my blood I wanted her to taste!  So I came up with a back-up plan.  If indeed she was a vampire, I would be ready.

Imagine my disappointment.  Things were going well when she burst into flames after biting down on a healthy portion of garlic bread.  I took the experience as a lesson in relationships.  Communication is important.  If you are a vampire, and you want to repeatedly suck the blood out of a potential victim on a nightly basis until they die.  You should let them know, so that when you go over, under the guise of a date, they don’t figure it out before hand and kill you.  Give your victim the choice of whether to be victimized or not.  I’m sure that vampire girl was a very nice person, but she never gave me the chance to find out.

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