I once dated this girl who was interesting, but was a tad more pale than I usually go for. I was having her over for dinner for the first time, and there was something that was bothering me. There was something I felt every time I met her, it was hard to identify, and took time to grow, germinate and form into a cognitive thought. When the idea burst forth, I suddenly came to the realization that I had only met her at night. Not once had I seen her in daylight! ...And she was pale.
Now I know the vampire population is low in Ottawa, with all the politicians, it’s the zombie population that’s unusually high, and I suddenly realized that I might be putting myself in danger by inviting this porcelain honey into my home. Once you invite a vampire over, they can come over all they want, and it wasn’t my blood I wanted her to taste! So I came up with a back-up plan. If indeed she was a vampire, I would be ready.
Imagine my disappointment. Things were going well when she burst into flames after biting down on a healthy portion of garlic bread. I took the experience as a lesson in relationships. Communication is important. If you are a vampire, and you want to repeatedly suck the blood out of a potential victim on a nightly basis until they die. You should let them know, so that when you go over, under the guise of a date, they don’t figure it out before hand and kill you. Give your victim the choice of whether to be victimized or not. I’m sure that vampire girl was a very nice person, but she never gave me the chance to find out.