Day 51: Mild Italian Sausage...

This summer saw my first trip to Bluesfest.  It was a memorable experience, and one of the best acts I saw was The Sauce Boss.  The Sauce Boss is something you just have to see to believe, because it’s so much fun.  He plays and cooks Gumbo for the crowd.  How could I not love this.  Blues and Food - two of my favourite things.

So in the coming weeks I’d been planning to make my own Gumbo.  I set out to read some online recipes, and combine what cooking skills I have to devise my perfect gumbo.  The first step was to empty my fridge and freezer, so that I’d have the space for all that Gumbo.  There’s no point to making Gumbo unless you make enough to feed an army, so you have to plan for leftovers, or have a party to consume it.

The next stumbling block I encountered were the aliens.  Well, no actually, it was the File Powder.  File Powder is made from dried, ground sassafras leaves, and I’m told it’s essential to making Gumbo.  In fact you can’t call it Gumbo unless you have File Powder, and having enormous respect for cooks, chefs, foodies, and food as culture, I agree.  The point being, I couldn’t find any.  I looked all over the downtown core, and there was nothing.  In the end I found an online-store that specializes in Chillies, and they have some, but you have to order online.

So I was going to post a recipe for Gumbo today, but I can’t, because without the File Powder I can’t even start.  In the meantime, here is an old recipe for Italian Sausage.  It’s a good cheap, and lean option, and very tasty.  It’s a great habit to get into, making your own sausage.  I like to know what goes into it.  The store bought stuff?  Who knows what's in there.

In the meantime, I wait for my File Powder order to go through the system, and for two bottles to be mailed to me.  Let the Gumbo countdown begin...

Day 50: Breakfast Hash Browns...

There are days when many of you are craving that MacDonald’s Hash Brown.  I’m sure some time ago, back in the prehistoric days I felt the same way, but not now.  I haven’t eaten there since 1994, and I haven’t looked back.

I do however, sometimes get that urge to eat something like a hash brown, but don’t feel like getting dressed in the morning to go out and get some.  So here’s a recipe to help save me and you from venturing outside, so that we can stay in, clad in a robe and bunny slippers, and a coffee on hand.

Oh, and yes, I made it to day 50.  Reason to celebrate!

Enjoy...

Day 49: Lime Salt...

Since I posted the recipe for French Herb Salt, I thought I’d add in Lime Salt as well.  As a simple finishing salt, you can’t do easier or better.  Sprinkle it on cooked food, salads, or anything where lime might be a good flavour addition.

Margaritas anyone?

Enjoy...

Day 48: French Herb Salt...

Didn’t get home until late, so I missed my chance to post!  No matter, that means two recipes for today.

Flavoured salts have always been a great way to enhance a dish, but I’ve only just gotten into the practice in the last year or so.  Many of you would prefer to go to a store and buy the stuff, but I’m not sure of the quality, and since it’s so easy to make it yourself...

There is an infinite number flavours you can make.  Have fun with it.  Pick your favorite spices and herbs, and go to town...

Day 47: Crabby Quiche...

A couple years ago, a friend of mine gave me a pet crab.  Never having had a crustacean before, I wasn’t sure what to do with it!  I set it down on the floor and looked at it.  It stared back at me with it’s eye stalks twisting and swaying to an unknown rhythm.  I tried to learn it’s body language.  I’ve never met an animal that I couldn’t understand by studying it’s movement.  But this arthropod was much more different that any mammal I’ve had before.  It seemed so alien and strange, I couldn’t for the life of me think of what it was trying to tell me...

...until it jumped...

When it latched it’s small but razor-sharp claws on my face, and tried to dig it’s way to my brain, I knew it had one plan, to kill me.  This was no ordinary crab, it was a crab trained in the deadly art of Ninjitsu.  Yes, my friend had betrayed me by giving me an assassin crab.  He wanted me dead, but I wasn’t about to give in.  After a titanic battle that destroyed many potted plants, furniture and lava lamps, I killed the bastard by impaling it with my Canadian flag.

Rather than leave the corpse to rot in a garbage can, I did what any self-respecting cook would do, I made Quiche.

In all seriousness, I want to point out that a big part of why I make so many recipes, is that I get bored of eating the same thing over and over again.  This recipe however, is so good, it is one of the few that I come back to over and over again.  It’s suitable for breakfast or dinner, and I tend to make them in batches of two.  One package of fake crab meat comes with 8 sticks, and the recipe calls for 4, so I double to use everything.

Day 46: Corny Cakes...

Not long ago, I told a story about the time I was bounty hunting in New Mexico.  Well not long after I collected the bounty on Hugo “Brickface” MaCain, I ended up shacking up with a Mexican filly to recover after suffering a painful gunshot wound in the leg.  She had a small cornfield, and when the crop came in, I made up this recipe to say thanks for her hospitality.

Enjoy...

Day 45: Crumbly Oatmeal Cake...

Did I ever tell you that I was AT the Battle of Stirling Bridge?  No, well that movie Braveheart got it all wrong.  William Wallace isn’t the hero they made him out to be, but he isn’t the only figure in history to be deified.

Oh, and no, I wasn’t fighting.  Not my thing really, I was catering.  They seemed to really like my oatmeal.

Enjoy...

Day 44: Caribbean Salsa...

I once spent time in the Caribbean working for the Secret Service.  I was on the trail of some villainous Arms Dealers working in the area.  I found their base of operations on an Island off the coast of Nassau.  The only way I could get there was by getting as close as I could by boat and snorkeling the remaining thirteen kilometers at night through shark infested waters.  And these weren’t normal sharks, they were sharks with fricken’ lasers on their heads!

It took me two days of skulking through the jungle to get the photographs I needed to prove the nefarious goings-on on the island.  Going back was a repeat of how I got there, but while I lived like a wild animal among the web of vines, trees and fern, I scavenged what I could to survive.  I took what I found and made this recipe.  I liked it so much, I ate nothing but this for the two days in the bush.

Enjoy...

Day 43: Garlic Butter...

Say you’re out to do battle with a 3000 year old Vampire, and the regular Garlic Spread I posted last week isn’t strong enough?  Need to take it up a notch?  Well you aren’t likely to find a better formula for an all out, no-holds barred, vampire massacre.  Oh, and regular folks find it pretty tasty too.

Enjoy...

Day 42: Tropical Mojo...

Whoops!  Looks like I forgot to post yesterday.  No matter, I can post two recipes today.

If work has you down, just whip up a batch of this, and you can close your eyes and pretend you’re in the Caribbean, lazily sunning yourself on a beach.

Enjoy...

Day 41: Barbecued Chicken...

Holy crap, it’s after 11 and I haven’t posted yet!  Been a busy day, but I guess it’s better late than never.

This is probably the easiest recipe I’ve posted so far, and by Thor’s Hammer it’s good!  All you need is a barbecue, which most of you already have, and a self-rotating rotisserie spit (which you can get for $20 at Canadian Tire or some such place).  I’m getting hungry just thinking about it.  I’ve already brushed my teeth, so I’ll have to make this posting quick, or I’ll risk dirtying my teeth!

Enjoy...

Day 40: Puff Pastry Breakfast...

I made it!  It’s day 40!  Only two more weeks and I’ll have 50 new recipes.  I think that will be quite an a accomplishment.

Aside from milestones, the weekend is here, and some of you no doubt have plans.  Given that it’s Friday the 13th, AND Alfred Hitchcock’s birthday, you are at risk of getting attacked by birds or goalie mask wearing madmen!  If you have a date planned, that could ruin everything.  So if you have romantic plans tonight, perhaps this recipe will help.  Whip up a batch of this, and it should satisfy your date, and any madmen or flock of ravenous birds enough to convince them not to kill you.

Enjoy.

Day 39: Apple Pork Roulade...

This is what I had prepared for the main course, but since my vampire date exploded into a ball of flame, I had to eat it alone.  If you have a date coming over, maybe you can be more successful and try it when your special someone comes over.

Day 38: Easy Garlic Spread...

I once dated this girl who was interesting, but was a tad more pale than I usually go for.  I was having her over for dinner for the first time, and there was something that was bothering me.  There was something I felt every time I met her, it was hard to identify, and took time to grow, germinate and form into a cognitive thought.  When the idea burst forth, I suddenly came to the realization that I had only met her at night.  Not once had I seen her in daylight!  ...And she was pale.

Now I know the vampire population is low in Ottawa, with all the politicians, it’s the zombie population that’s unusually high, and I suddenly realized that I might be putting myself in danger by inviting this porcelain honey into my home.  Once you invite a vampire over, they can come over all they want, and it wasn’t my blood I wanted her to taste!  So I came up with a back-up plan.  If indeed she was a vampire, I would be ready.

Imagine my disappointment.  Things were going well when she burst into flames after biting down on a healthy portion of garlic bread.  I took the experience as a lesson in relationships.  Communication is important.  If you are a vampire, and you want to repeatedly suck the blood out of a potential victim on a nightly basis until they die.  You should let them know, so that when you go over, under the guise of a date, they don’t figure it out before hand and kill you.  Give your victim the choice of whether to be victimized or not.  I’m sure that vampire girl was a very nice person, but she never gave me the chance to find out.

Day 37: Low-Fat Omelet...

It’s been a long time since I’ve had the oatmeal, having abandoned it in favour of a much quicker to make, hi-fibre cereal.  I still however make this omelet every morning for breakfast.  It’s quick, tasty and easy to make.  Pay close attention to the instructions,  because even if you decide to ditch the egg white, and use whole eggs to make it, I’m  describing instructions on how to cook a nice, light omelet.

One thing I should mention, is that when I do make it, I don’t normally make it with cheese.  I also use flavoured salt instead of plain salt.  Flavoured salt is a fantastic way to ad that something extra to a dish, and it’s one of the easiest things to make.  Which reminds me, I should probably add that to my list of recipes to post...

Day 36: Apple and Cinnamon Oatmeal...

I have, as of late, been posting some very rich and fattening foods, and given last week’s  posting about weight loss, I thought I’d spend this week showing the kind of meals I’d have over the course of my first year of weight loss, where I lost the most.

Below is one of the things I’d have for breakfast.  It’s hearty, simple, healthy, and very quick.  For a long time, this is how I’d start the day.  It’s dense enough to fill you up, and energy rich enough to get your going in the morning.  Don't let yourself be temped to add maple syrup, brown sugar, or any extra sweetener.  The apple has all the sugar you need.  You will be undermining your efforts if you do.

Enjoy...

Day 35: Grown-Up Macaroni And Cheese...

It’s been a rough week, and though I want to share, I doubt any of you will believe me.  It all started with a knock on my door.  The entrance was too dark to see who stood there, and that was my first mistake.  I opened the door.  What was revealed in shadowed glory were a trio of cowboy hat wearing, denim clad Cro-Magnon's!  The furrowed brows, stubbly cheeks, and brown tobacco stains on their chins could only mean one thing.  I had members of the Ozark chapter of Alabama Terrorists on my doorstep.  Don’t believe me?  Never heard of them?  Well the rumor is, is they left the KKK to make their own group because they felt the Clan was too mainstream.

I tried to slam the door, but an elephant sized foot blocked the way.  Dashing upstairs, I headed for the back door, which wasn’t really a back door, because it opens to my deck, where I fell the ten feet to the ground.  I hopped the fence, and was on my way.  Armed with pick-up trucks, shotguns, and hunting dogs, they chased me down.  I tried my best, but I wasn’t able to get away.  They interrogated me for hours in a nearby shed, and try as I might, I couldn’t last.  No matter how tough you are, in time, everyone breaks under torture.  I’m ashamed to admit it, but I gave in to the terrorist’s demands.  I may never forgive myself, but I did it.  I wrote them a recipe for macaroni and cheese...

Day 35: Keith’s Cantonese Chow Mein...

Some say, “I have a monkey on my back,” when they admit to an addiction.  While many don’t possess full scale addictions, most at least have a vice of some sort.  In my case it’s Cantonese Chow Mein.  I first encountered this dish at a restaurant on Somerset Street in Chinatown.  I wanted to try something new, and the waiter pointed it out on the menu.  “You want something good?  I got something that’ll blow your mind!  You’ve never tasted anything like it, man!  You gotta have some!”

Curious, I ordered it.  What came was something I didn’t expect.  It’s a simple stir-fried dish with mixed greens, shellfish, pork and chicken.  The kind of dish you’d expect one to throw together with what’s lying around.  What made this different was that it was poured over a bed of crispy deep-fried egg noodles!  I’d never seen this before.  Sure I’d had many stir-fried noodles before, but by drying the noodles out through the frying process, they could do nothing but absorb and soften under the vast amounts of sauce the dish contains!  Don’t understand?  Imagine what would taste better - spaghetti cooked in water, or spaghetti cooked in sauce?  Need I say more?

I had one bite of the crispy, delicious stir-fried noodle and I was hooked.  I couldn’t get enough.  I’d order it again, and again.  I’d order it at other restaurants, to see how they made it differently.  Pretty soon, I was scouring the internet for recipes, because eating Cantonese Chow Mein at restaurants wasn’t enough.  I had to make some of my own, and in that case, I became a dealer.

Given the fried nature of this dish, it’s not the healthiest food in the world, which is why I reserve it as recovery food, after a 15 or more kilometer run.

Enjoy.

Day 34: Vietnamese Barbecue...

Maybe it's my lack of knowing the history, or maybe you had to be there, but I've never understood the Vietnam conflict. Why did the Americans go there? How could they have taken part in so much horror and bloodshed? With so many fantastic Vietnamese restaurants popping up everywhere, my ignorant mind can only conclude, it was for the food.  They invaded for the salad rolls.  They couldn't get enough Pho...

Here is my Vietnamese inspired dish, that makes a great main coarse to any meal.

Day 33: Kick-Ass Tofu...

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This is what most people think of when they think of tofu - horrid tasteless blobs of jiggling rubber packed in water. While tofu doesn’t have a lot of natural flavour, there are things you can do to add flavour, and this recipe packs quite a wallop. I whipped up a batch of this using a whole package of tofu, and it was so good, I ate the whole thing in one sitting!

I think I might just have to make a batch right now. I’m getting hungry just thinking about it...

Day 32: Chili Corn Cakes...

Ten years ago I took a job down south. It wasn’t the kind of thing I usually do, but I was desperate for the cash, and I figured it would be easy bringing in the bounty on one Hugo “Brickface” MaCain. I followed him from Colorado Springs on horseback, thinking I’d find him pretty quickly, nab him and be on my way. They guy was notoriously large, and not a good rider. Neither was I for that matter, but a whole lot better than him.

Clearly I hadn’t expected how determined Brickface was at not getting caught. He ditched his horse not long after he figured I was on to him, and he jumped a train. I managed to keep up, but in the end we scrambled after each other through the New Mexico desert. I still remember bouncing all over the burning mesa like water in burning oil. I nearly lost my life on that job, but luckily what kept me going were these little corn cakes I stocked up on in Santa Fe. They keep for a surprisingly long time, not to mention tasty, and they keep you going.

How I Lost 30 lbs, or, “How I Look Better at 38 than 28.”

I have been physically active for nearly two years, and have gone through many changes. Some around me have asked how I did it, and in response, I have put to word many of the techniques and principles I have learned and implemented. It works, plain and simple.

Why have I posted this here? Because it's a food blog. Eating healthy for most people conjures up images of eating vast quantities of bland, tasteless lettuce. But because I have taken the time to learn how to cook, I can make a salad without dressing that kicks ass, and doesn't make you pine for the bag of doritos. I can eat healthy, and not give up taste.

So keep this in mind when you look over the food I make on this blog, because it's a slice of what I ate during my efforts to lose weight. If it helped me, maybe it can help you.