Saturday, September 08, 2007


For some time now I''ve been planning to make another posting, but with work, my book, my RPG development, Gran Turismo 4, and a touch of laziness, I haven't gotten around to it until now. Long ago I was going to post about having completed the second draft of my book, which is cool. I had taken the printed copy and scribbled all over it with the changes I wanted to make. I even took a picture on the night I finished it!

But there it sat on my desktop, doing nothing until now. But now that I'm getting around to posting again, I have something else to talk about, something more important. I finally finished the book I was reading so that I can get at a new book that has been sitting on my night-table for some time waiting to be read. It's called The Bully, The Bullied, and The Bystander, by Barbara Coloroso.

Why would I be reading a book about bullying at my age? Kind of dumb question, really, when you think about it. Do you think that bullies stop being bullies when they grow up? Hell no. When someone learns aggressive or inappropriate ways of dealing with people, they learn that for life. You can even transpose this kind of behavior on the world, because countries are ruled by people, so it is logical to assume that countries will behave like people too. Think about what is going on in the Darfur region right now. It's easy to look at the Darfur as the weird kid off alone on the side. No one really likes him, and he's getting picked on, but no one does anything about it even though they can. They all sit back as bystanders. The sad thing is, is that the opposition in Darfur is not very strong, they could be stopped easily, especially by the United States, the toughest kid on the block), but they are too absorbed in their own selfish interests. But it isn't the responsibility of the United States to fix conflicts like this, it's all of ours.

Why should you read this book? If you have kids, you really need this book, because your kids are for sure going to get bullied. if you've ever been bullied, you need to read this to clear up some of the thoughts you may have about the experience, because whether you realize it or not, you have been shaped by the experience. This book is like a primer on understanding some basic concepts of human interaction, and I've found it to be an incredible eye opener. A lot of the ideas so far are things you may already know, but it still puts it all into a context that is far more reaching than you think.

Do yourself a favour, whether you are a parent or not, read this book!!!
The Bully, The Bullied, and the Bystander...

1 comment:

Suzanne Marsden said...

Great to see a fresh post Keith! The book looks really interesting-- Maybe I'll snag it next time we get together? As a kid who did get bullied, badly, up until I got a lot bigger than the bullies and built a pantheon of supportive friends & other, maybe not so savoury coping mechanisms, I'm interested to read up on bullying.

Getting bullied sucks big time and leaves you with not very great skills to cope with aggressive people as an adult, or to cope with aggressive situations (ie: any confrontation.)

I found it interesting reading a couple of years ago about a kid who used to pummel me when I was.. 6? He was grown up, had a family etc. I don't know why it seemed odd to me to realize that this kid had moved on to continue a life of his own, but it was. I think sometimes situations, events and people can get stuck in your consciousness at a certain age, locked into the time that it happened and stored forever in your mind.

I don't know what I'd do if I ever met him again; probably nothing. It was a lifetime ago; and probably made no impression on him at all. There is another interesting phenomenon where events will assume enormous significance in your mind/ emotional make-up and have absolutely none for the instigator and even witnesses. I guess it's hooked into personal experience -- but it still seems bizarre to me, even though, through my own experiences, I've seen it to be true.

Thanks for getting me thinking Keith! Talk with you soon, my friend. And congratulations on your continued success with the book!
((hugs & love))