I have had a number of conversations and debates as of late about the state of modern filmmaking; my position being that they rely too much on flashy camera work and an appalling sense of pace, and this all urged me to write about the Tao of Sex, because the filmmaking process, is a lot like sex.
How we approach lovemaking is like good filmmaking, you want to take your time, don’t go for broke right away, as it can have a numbing affect. You want to hold back giving your audience what they want by dancing around the sweet spot for as long as you can, then when the tension is at it’s greatest, BAM! you go for the tender areas. Filmmakers like Michael Bay have one mode, 11, and they never let you get a breather, leaving you to feel like you’ve been bashing your head against the wall for 2 hours. It’s, in a word, annoying.
Imagine, if you will ladies, what it would be like to have sex with Michael Bay, if his lovemaking techniques were anything like his films? Would you not be left feeling sore, and angry?
In fact the over-the-top films we get today are similar to a bad case of premature ejaculation.
Furthermore, the use of the shaking camera, an effect that can only occur in nature when you are looking through a lens, just screams “I’m watching a film!” and not, “I’m participating in a story!” Seriously, when, other than when you look through a lens do you see camera wobble? Even if I stumble home drunk my vision carries more clarity.
When you lay down on your partner, do you flail around like you are having a seizure, in the hopes that your berserker enthusiasm will give your lover pleasure? What sounds more sensuous, a paint shaker, or a slow unwavering hand?
I have always felt that being steady, controlled, and accurately focusing on your goals was the way to give pleasure. The filming of a sequence is no different.
It’s also imperative that you not rely on the same techniques over and over. Everyone will respond differently when certain buttons are pushed, so that the more varied you are, the greater the likelihood you will stumble across the ones that your partner, or viewer will respond the most to.
Film is not the only thing that can be approached in a sexual manner, in fact anything that requires precise and accurate control can be thought of as sex, and thus utilize similar techniques.
I hope this little diatribe encourages you to expect the same quality out of your daily life that you expect to get out of the bedroom.
Which reminds me. It’s almost time to make dinner...
